Sophia Stockton, College Student, Finds Cocaine In Textbook Ordered From Amazon

Stockton took the book and bag to the local police station where officers confirmed her suspicion.

Authorities believe the cocaine may be worth up to $400, and investigators are looking into where it could have come from, KSHB TV reports.

what the hell? bitch, shut up. this is like one of those moments you wanted to smack the socially stupid kid in school who raised his hand at 2:55 PM going “teacher, teacher! you forgot to give us homework!” SHUTTTTTTTT UPPPPPPPPP.

in other news, man finds weed in used bong. big shock!!!!!

Just got an email. from a “casting agent” I replied to on craiglist, last year.  first is her email that I got tonight. Under that is the reply I recieved, attached to the email I sent last year, which makes me burst out laughing since 1) it was def a joke 2) it’s all in caps yet saved her e-mail list 3) it details the photos I attached at the time, wtf?  was i ever this funny? weird. 

to:danidisaster@gmail.com

Re: NEW YORK

I’m now casting a new show for a major tv production company here and I’m looking for very vocal Moms who want to get plastic surgery for their teens. If this describes you, you’d be perfect for the show. Please take a look and please forward to your friends!

Thanks! Jill

TV Show Seeks Moms Who Want Plastic Surgery For Their Teens!

Are you a Mom who feels your teen would benefit from plastic surgery? Do you feel it’s never too young to improve upon a look? Do you feel it would completely change his or her life? We are looking for lots of Mom who are very vocal and opinionated. Would you like to get this done prior to a special event? We want to hear all about it! A major production company in the tv industry is looking for lots of candidates interested in plastic surgery.

Please e-mail the full story with photos, videos and include what you’d like to have done and why-please include phone numbers to beautytvshowcasting@gmail.com.

——-Original Message——-

From: danidisaster <danidisaster@gmail.com>

To: jillcasidy <jillcasidy@aol.com>

Sent: Sat, May 15, 2010 9:04 pm

Subject: NEW YORK

HOW DARE YOU POST THIS AD! YOU EXPECT TO GET MY AMAZING LIFE STORY FOR FREE? WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS? AM I YOUR SLAVE? STATEN ISLAND IS NOT YOUR BOROUGH TO EXPLOIT!! MY BIOGRAPHY IS WORTH A LOT OF MONEY AND IT WILL ONLY BE GIVEN TO THE BEST BIDDER BECAUSE I AM A STRONG, AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL, SUCCESSFUL, AND POPULAR WOMAN! MY LIFE IS MINE NOT YOURS!!

WHAT YOU WILL FIND ATTACHED ARE TWO PHOTOS. 

ONE OF ME WITH CONAN OBRIENS HAIRSTYLE PHOTOSHOPPED ON MY HEAD. I BET YOU THOUGHT IT WAS REAL BUT IT’S JUST MY SKILLS. 

THE NEXT ONE IS A SCREEN SHOT OF A SAILOR MAKING OUT WITH ME IN THE MIDDLE OF TIMES SQUARE CAUSE HE WANTED TO TAP MY ASS FREE OF CHARGE.

GOOD NIGHT TO YOU. ENJOY FINDING THE AMAZINGNESS OF STATEN ISLAND.

did-you-kno:

Source

yeah. shut the fuck up. i was in remission for a few months. i get it. stop it, internet. 

yes i hate all these things

85% of my time at home is searching for weird dog related things on the internet to enjoy. I’m laughing hysterical to this. Look at fucking serious this dog is into this movie. I would do anything to read his mind. When I turn off my computer, I’ll probably be on Animal Planet or Pets TV.  

philslip:

poeticdeviceless:

shmegeh:

Well I got somethin’ to say
I bought some groceries today
And it doesn’t matter much to me
As long as they’re freeeesh.

↑ LMAO.

I love Danzig so much.

i’m obsessed with anytime he does normal things. like washing his car, or buying cat litter. 

menandtheirdogs:

^

NO!

Dog Pees Weird (by break) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

remember that time my cat got arrested?

Still protective over my teenage punk rock nickname / online handle.  I bet people mix this girl and I up ALL the time. 

sweethomestyle:

southernblood

Troy Sings the Reading Rainbow theme song!!!! - Community (by MovieMontagesInc)

I will always laugh at this

If anyone you call Penny Beach the rocks I’ll smack you